JXHQ: Don't You Love Me?
by thechokesonyou
Summary: Harley is pregnant, and the Joker is not happy. Of course, when Harley miscarries, it just couldn't be the Joker's fault, now could it? No. Of course not. (Warnings for extreme psychological abuse and graphic sexual situations.)


The test was… Positive. Of course, the majority of tests she'd taken said negative, but… Then again, there was always that slight chance… Her arms wrapped around her midriff, hugging herself close as she bent over at the waist, tears forming in her eyes. What if she was pregnant? What if…

Oh, god. The idea of being pregnant wasn't even half as scary as the idea of what _he _would do once he found out. Harley rubbed her stomach softly. He'd try to kill it, she knew. Maybe even her, too. Could she really keep this a secret? She knew the answer to that. Nothing got past the Joker. _Nothing. _

She held back a sob, and it came out as a choked whimper as tears fell down her cheeks. Her little baby… It wasn't even that she wanted a baby, but now… She couldn't just abandon the poor little guy. She imagined his pale skin, those godly green eyes, maybe her blonde hair… His jaw line, but her soft features. She smiled against her tears. Their baby would be so cute. No, he'd be beautiful.

Just like his daddy.

She wiped her eyes and her hands came away black and white from her makeup. With a despondent sigh, she stood up and put her hands on the edge of the sink as she leaned over the basin. In the mirror, she blinked at her reflection. Her facepaint had tear streaks through it and her normally pretty blue eyes were blood shot. She sniffled a little. There was no way she could hide this from Mr. J. Especially because the place was littered with pregnancy tests and boxes, and… _Oh, no. _

Bolting out of the room, she ran across the hall towards the bedroom, her eyes filled with fear. He may not be home yet, she told herself. Her heart was beating frantically against her chest cavity. Oh no, oh no, oh no…

Panting, she stopped at the bedroom door, a wave of terror washing over her at the sight in front of her. J stood in the middle of the room, the small rectangular box in one hand, staring down at it with a cold, but surprisingly neutral. "Mr. J," She whispered, unable to speak clearly.

"Wha_**t **_is _this?_" He demanded, turning his head sharply to stare at her, that exact same monotonous, terrifying expression on his beautiful face. She swallowed harshly. When his eyes burned with fury, his wrath visible, when he screamed, that was scary. But when he was quiet… He didn't just hurt her. He dragged it out. _Slowly. _She was very obviously shaking as she looked up at him, hiding partially behind the door frame.

"Baby, it's —" She started, but then he grabbed her by her hair and yanked her forward, right up against his chest. She could feel his heart pounding against hers and her eyes closed in fear as his hot breath hit her face. He grabbed her jaw with the other hand, shaking her head until she opened her eyes and stared into his. The look of malice and anger in them made her knees give out. She whimpered as he supported her purely by her jaw and hair.

He bared his teeth at her. "Are you _pregnan__**t**__?" _He demanded, his fingers digging harder into her jaw, the nails scraping her cheeks and the bones pressing hard into her teeth and gums.

"I don't know," She cried, pleading for mercy with her eyes. "I don't know! Most of the tests said I'm not, but —" He interrupted her again, shouting.

"_Most of them?_" He demanded. She whimpered again, her eyes brimming with tears.

"Puddin', please, we don't know anything for sure!"

"What do you mean _we?_" He snarled, shaking her. "It's _your _little brat!" He'd been backing her up against the wall and now he shoved her hard by the shoulders into it and she groaned as he head slammed into it, too.

"Baby," She whimpered. It was his, too! Didn't he understand that?

Her question was answered when he yelled, "And who the hell would the _father _be?"

Her eyes widened. That was the final straw. She bared her teeth and screamed, "It's yours, you fucking asshole! Maybe if you would bother to use protection sometimes this wouldn't have happened!"

"If _I _bothered?" He demanded. "You little bitch." His backhand slammed into the side of her face and she choked back a sob, turning back to face him with defiance in her eyes. "You got yourself knocked up," He growled. "So I'll just have to knock it out." Harley could've died right then, seeing the thrill in his eyes and the pure evil in his smile. His forearm pressed against her throat, cutting off her air circulation and she grabbed a hold of his strong arm, trying to pull it away. As his other hand reached over to grab her hands, she took the opportunity to sink her teeth into his arm.

Hard.

He screamed out a curse and his grip faltered, leaving her time to swing a kick to his shin. _Big mistake, _She thought, cringing. Grabbing her coat she bolted towards the door, the sounds of the Joker calling after her ringing in her ears.

**It was really cold outside, **and Harley had nowhere to go. She'd been walking for quite some time now and finally she ducked into a small diner just as it started to snow. The neon **OPEN **sign was blinking and buzzing, and as she sat on a stool at the bar, her head resting on her crossed arms, she watched it, transfixed by it like a moth to a porch light. The waitress brought over a plain white mug filled with black coffee and motioned to the basket full of creamer and sugar a few feet away. Harley didn't bother to look inside, just taking a sip of the scalding, strong drink.

J liked to drink his coffee like this.

Harley licked her lips, her eyelids growing heavy. She knew she'd go back to the theatre later tonight. She just couldn't bare to go right now. Besides, if she went to see Ivy, she'd just scold her for letting him treat her that way, which would only make Harley feel worse. She sighed heavily. One thing Harley always appreciated was that her face was not very well known. Not her real face, at least. When she wasn't wearing the heavy makeup and had her hair down, no one would ever guess she spent her nights hiding from the cops and serving a clown hand and foot.

She really was pathetic.

What had Ivy said that one time? Doormat. _If you had a middle name, it would be 'Welcome.' _When had it became that way? She drained her mug, wiping her mouth on the back of her wrist and then whenever the waitress turned her back, she slipped out like a wraith, pulling her hood over her head once she got outside. The snow was falling thick now, coating the Gotham streets. As she gnawed on the inside of her mouth, she began to think. If she was able to actually have her baby, he'd have a September birthday. Her lips quirked up in smile.

It was best not to let herself get too thrilled about this. She knew when she got home, J would… She swallowed. Rubbing her tummy, she whispered, "Bye little baby. It was nice knowing you." Harley turned onto their street as she dropped her palm back down to her side. It was only a moment later when a hard impact hit her right above her hip and she gasped, stumbling backward. She grabbed at her stomach, feeling warmth spreading across her abdomen. Then she felt the pain. She'd been shot. Her vision was swirling, and as the Joker approached, standing above her kneeling form, twirling his gun in his hand, she passed out.

**It smelled like brown sugar or cinnamon, **and it just resulted in confusing Harley. When she finally found the muscles to open her eyes, she blinked suddenly at the lights shining into her eyes. There was whistling in the background. It was cheerful. Her Puddin' was happy. She sighed in contentment and the motion of her large breath sent a throbbing ache through her torso, making her whimper. She pulled the blankets back, seeing a white piece of gauze taped securely to her stomach, a few inches from her belly button. _My baby. _She'd been shot… By him. Tears pricked in her eyes, not just at the pain but at the fact that the love of her life just… Murdered their baby. Let alone shot her.

She didn't notice when he walked in the room. He wasn't wearing his shoes and his socked feet padded into the room quietly. "Aw, pooh," He murmured, making her jump, which only resulted in more pain. "Oh baby, oh little pumpkin pie." He crawled into the bed, stroking her hair back solicitously from her forehead. "How are you feeling, pooh bear?"

She blinked at him, unable to form a response in her absolute confusion. Wasn't he mad at her? He'd just _shot _her! "You shot me," She whispered hoarsely.

He blinked back. "Baby!" He said, sounding ridiculously offended and she cringed. "I didn't know it was you! Your hair was down and you were in that big fluffy coat, and when I saw someone approaching I had to act… You know Daddy wouldn't shoot his little girl." His voice was a purr in her ear as he said that, making her cough silently in protest at holding back a sob. Was he telling the truth? It just seemed to unrealistic.

"The baby," She whimpered.

He pouted, his red lips turning down into a frown. "I know, pooh. But it's okay. You'll be okay." He stroked her cheek, sliding his thumb gently over her lip and then pinching the tip of her nose. She started to shake her head, outraged and went to sit up, the blankets falling off her bare body and the terrible ache returning to her side. She cried out, grabbing at the wound, trying to make it stop.

"No!" She screamed, backing away. "You killed our baby! You wanted to kill our baby from the very beginning!" She was clutching her stomach now, not her wound. Her baby… Her poor innocent little baby…

"That isn't true at all," He said, that shocked expression on his handsome face. "Sure, I was a little angry with you, my dear, but… I get angry with you a lot, and don't we always makeup?" He said, cocking his head to the side and crawling out of the bed, opening his arms for an embrace.

She took another step back. "This is different," She said. "You w_anted _to kill him! You — You were waiting for me to come back so you could shoot me!"

He looked absolutely flabbergasted. "Harley, listen to yourself!" He yelled. She started to sob, falling down to her knees again. "If anyone is at fault here, it's you! You should never have ran away," He growled, bending down and grabbing her jaw, forcing her to look at him. "You can't just leave when Daddy's talking to you, now can you?"

She sobbed again, but he wasn't really looking for a response. He looked her up and down for a minute, scrutinizing and then started to kneel over her on the ground, forcing her to lay on her back to scoot away from his advances. "Get away from me," She whispered harshly.

"Baby," He said. "Would I ever lie to you?" She sobbed again. His pale hands lowered to his belt, unbuckling it as he stared into her eyes. "Tell me, baby. Don't you trust me?" She sniffled, still trying to back away. He wouldn't have any of that. With one hand, he held her still and the other he unzipped his fly, reaching in. "I was _waiting _for you to come home, I was _worried _about you, about our baby," He murmured, coddling her as he pulled out his erection. She couldn't believe that he was trying to initiate this now… She couldn't stand the thought of him being inside of her. She hated him in this moment. "You ran off and left me," He said, positioning his cock at her opening. Her body betrayed her, slickening the way for his assault and she started to cry again, wriggling away but he held her firmly down on the carpeted ground. "And then you try to put your own guilt on me!" His hips forcefully entered hers and she cried out, a scream of pain and hatred.

"Stop!" She screamed, beating on his chest with her small fists.

He grabbed both of her wrists in one hand as he pistoned his hips back and forth inside of her. "Why don't you love me, Harley?" He demanded, his voice the perfect mix of sadness and anger and lust. His eyes bore down into hers, frowning at her, demanding an answer. She sobbed again, but this time at the fact that he thought she didn't love him. Didn't he know? Didn't he know that she needed him? "Why did you leave me? Why don't you want me? Why are you trying to blame me for what you did?" He asked, slamming his hips deep inside of her quickly lubricated entrance. She could've died right then, the humiliation she felt that she was so aroused by him and that all she wanted was to prove that she loved him more than anything.

"I do love you," She sobbed. "I love you, so much, you're my everything."

"I don't think I can believe you, Harley," He said, shaking his head. Every thrust of hips sent a throb through her side, making the pain flare to life but she could not resist him anymore. Not after he said that.

"No!" She cried. "I love you! I love you! I need you, I can't live without you!"

He pounded into her harder. "It wasn't my fault that our baby is dead, is it?" He asked, grabbing her jaw and forcing her to look into the depth of his eyes.

She tried to shake her head in the firmness of his grip, but she realized that was why he was holding her so tight. He wanted to hear her say it. "No," She whispered. "It wasn't your fault. I'm so sorry."

"Who's fault was it, then?" He growled, forcing himself inside of her quickly, hard and deep and passionate.

With a whimper of crushing guilt, she said, "It's mine… It's all my fault." Her voice was hardly a whisper. As soon as she finished speaking, he threw his head back as he climaxed, emptying himself into her depths. With a few more short jerks, more of his seed shot into her and a few silent tears slipped down her cheeks. His lips parted with a quiet moan and then he was releasing her limp form to the floor and pulling himself out of her. He zipped his pants back up and as he left, he gave her one final look.

"Don't let this happen again," He said quietly. He shut the light off and closed the door, leaving her naked form on the carpet, bleeding, used and sore. It took her twenty minutes to get the strength to crawl off the floor and onto the mattress, burrowing herself deep in the blankets. She couldn't bare being awake. She couldn't bare the truth.

She'd killed her baby. _I'm so sorry, _She thought. It was all her fault. She shouldn't have left. She shouldn't have scared J like that. She shouldn't have… Harley started to sob into her pillow, grief and loss overpowering her. She was a failure.

Harley would never deserve someone like the Joker.


End file.
